The Shadow of Regret
by RyuDraconis
Summary: Rikus thoughts after he is sealed behind the Door, angtsy R


The Shadow of Regret  
  
I hate Sora. I hate him. I hate him with every fiber of my being. I hate him, not because of who he is, or what he can do, or for that matter, what he weilds, the Keyblade that should be my own. I hate him because he posseses the one thing that eludes me: A pure heart. And now I sit here, alone, in the darkness, consumed by everlasting shadow. I float here, motionless, unabe to breathe, see, or know where I am or am going. Yet I know where Sora is going. Sora is going to undo what the Heartless did, with his friends...and the pure heart that I hate so much. His heart, it shines above all others, brighter than the stars that had shone in the sky above Traverse town, each their own world creating their own light. I remember looking up that night, soon after I had talked to Sora and his friends, and I realized just how dull they were compared to Sora. He was genuinely happy to see me, and I could see how his heart shone inside him with happiness that I was alright. When I told him Kairi was not with me, the light did not fade as I thought it would have, it only surged brighter as he resolved to find her no matter what.   
  
Kairi. The driving force behind Sora and his search. I hated that. I always wanted Kairi for my own, to share in her hearts light, but to share it only with her, not Sora. I was greedy, I wanted her all to myself. I guess thats why I teamed with Malificent and allowed the Darkness to consume me. I wanted to be the one to restore Kairi's heart, not Sora. I wanted her to see me, to hug me in arms full of life and joy. In those times, I forgot just how pure she was, and by the time I realized it, it was too late. She was gone. With Sora. Again I hated him more, he had taken my happiness, my light. I wanted revenge. I allowed the Darkness to flow through me even more. And then, he came, from the door to Darkness. Ansem. He promised me eternal power and the revenge against the weilder of the Keyblade. He wanted the worlds destroyed, so he could get to the Kingdom. So did I. We wanted the same goals, but one thing that attracted him the most to me was my burning desire to be rid of Sora forever. I wanted to yank his pure heart from his body, to watch him die at my hand. And so Ansem and I became one. Instantly the world seemed to open up to me, my mind filled with the knowledge the man had collected over the years. I grew powerful, the power of the Heartless consuming me, snuffing out the light of my own heart and replacing it with a hollow darkness. But then I also lost any trace of who I was. I was Riku no longer. I was in all effects, dead to the world.   
  
And then, he emerged from the Dark again, his pure heart shining through the black pit of despair, sorrow and anger, the Keyblade in his hand. Bravely he faced us, his heart beating in time with all those around him, its pure and holy light blinding, driving to the heart of me. And then, as the killing blow came, I was free, Ansem was gone and I was free. But, the Door was still open. I remember looking at Sora as he and King Mickey tried their best to seal the Door, but to no avail. The Darkness continued to stream in, and then, I felt something glimmer inside me. There, inside my body was my heart. The heart I had forgotten. Its light shone dimly, but I knew it was there, so I decided that this world did not need me, I belonged on the other side of the door,in Darkness. Slowly I was sucked in and once there I combined my power with Sora, and King Mickeys. The door started to close, and then, I saw something that made me want to scream. Sora was there, his hand outstretched. He was calling for me to come back. To come back to him...and Kairi, to not leave them. I did not understand why. I had caused him so much pain, so much suffering, but hre he was, still egarding me as his friend of old, his pure heart willing to accept me again, despite the blackness of my own. I hesitated for a moment, my hand coming up, but then, I shook my head and dropped my hand. I no longer deserved to exist with him. His heart surged again, its glowing light almost blinding me as he yelled my name, but then the doors slammed shut and there was dark.   
  
I exist here now...and I exist here, in the land of Darkness, hating Sora and his heart. Wherever he is, I know he'll be ok, because of that heart of his. Big, pure, and strong, making my own look small, weak, and frail...  
  
Sora just always remember that I hate you... 


End file.
